samples from "ask kim johansen"
|Samples from recent inquires...|
suffer the usual male-nudist difficulty of having an uncontrollable
rover (i.e., erection) when visiting a nude beach. I don't have the
problem elsewhere (hot tubs, saunas). What should I do (with it)?
Nine out of ten questions posed by male nudists concern erections. There are several ways to address the issue, non of them arduous.
My first suggestion is to not worry about it. Women witness erections all the time, even on clothing-optional impaired beaches (where men wear suits). Anxiety about having an erection can cause erections. Acknowledge it, then forget about it. It will likely go away (a Buddhist saying).
However, if you have the bursting-touch-me-and-I'll-explode type erection, forgetting about it may not be an option. I suggest that you find somewhere private to relieve yourself (yes, masturbate). If you have a mate, maybe the two of you could head for the woods, or hide in the sand dunes. Have sex, if possible. Outdoor sex in secluded areas (where there is some danger of being discovered) can be very hot, and I'm not talking about the weather. However, blatant sexual contact in a nudist environment is a huge no-no. Don't even think about it.
By the way, men lying on their backs in the sun tend to have mild tumescence which is natural and in no way a put-off. Most women understand this. Also, mild arousal is normal—what we're discussing here is a true hard-on, to be avoided.
My penis leaks! What I mean to say is, while I don't have problems with
erections, mild arousal induces "lubrication," which of course
has no where to go but "out." My wife says I produce "a
lot of that stuff." I've never discussed it with other men, and
don't want to. Have you heard of this?
Well, I've not only heard of this, but depend on it! It's the male response to the possibility of intercourse, or simple arousal. Women "get moist" in the same way.
I suggest you simply and discretely squeeze the shaft and tip of your penis as needed. It (the lubricating) usually lasts only for a few moments. I've seen men do this (it's a split-second gesture) and consider it a normal way of dealing with the situation.
I have no problem with erection in nudist situations. However, my wife
and I recently visited a nude beach (Muir Beach, Marin County). While my
wife likes to lie on her towel and read, I'm a walker, so I walk the
shoreline, which is not very long in this case. After I got to one end
of the beach and was turning around, I noticed a group of very young
teens (girls and boys I should say) had arrived and stripped naked. It
immediately felt like one of those dreams people have where they find
themselves in the grocery store without their clothes on. Anyway,
instant erection. The water there is not an option (fifty degrees, often
with great whites or orcas inhabiting the shallows). I was stuck facing
the hill for about twenty minutes. My question is, I'm by no means a
pedophile, but the situation provoked a strong "sexual"
excitement. What's up?
Some women I've talked to have shared similar stories with me, where they become extremely aroused when naked around young teen boys. Of course, women don't salute. Chances are, being surprised by a new group of any age (groups are different than, say, a new couple or solo nudist arriving on scene) may have caused this response. Surprise seems to be a part of it, at any rate. What Americans fail to acknowledge is girls in their early teens are considered women in other cultures--they are hormonally charged and bursting with nascent sexuality. You may have simply had a normal "biologic" reaction. Unless you're combing through the teen undies section of the Penny's catalogue on a regular basis, I wouldn't worry. (And if you are, then you should stop!)
|Marc||Do women check out men's penises on nude beaches?|
but they also check-out the eyes, the bottom, the stomach, the chest,
the shoulders, the arms... The order of inspection varies by woman, but
generally speaking, the penis is on the inventory checklist.
A surprising development possibly due to the Internet and its ubiquitous pornography is that the uncircumcised penis is now gaining popularity. I mean, now that we know what it looks like in all of its varying postures, some of the mystery is gone and has been replaced with familiarity. So that's what they look like! I saw my first in-person penis in seventh grade and nearly lost my lunch. Some things just take getting used to.
|David||I like being "nude in nature" and frequent a nude beach along a river where I live. My routine is to spread out my towel, put on headphones and just let the sun and breeze bathe my body—i.e., it's an entirely solitary thing for me, except for there being other nudists lying about. Over the weekend I was following my usual routine when an attractive woman singled me out to ask if I would like to play volleyball (there's a permanent net set up, and it's generally always occupied). Being 1) male and 2) naked, I was suddenly very aroused by the invitation. I was on my back, and immediately had to turn over. Needless to say I declined. She went on to someone else who got up to play. My question is, could I have simply explained the problem? Afterwards I was thinking I should have said, "hey, I appreciate the invitation, but, I'm having a little problem here..." What do you think?|
the same woman came up to you in a bar full of other men and asked if
you would like to play darts, would you have been similarly aroused? I
suspect most men would interpret the invitation as a signal of sorts,
and they would probably be correct.
However, on a nude beach, the communal nudity tends to make everyone more open, and the invitation may or may not have been a "pick-up" (were you the nearest person to the net?). If she was climbing over other people to get to you, I would say it was an invitation to play and something more—getting to know each other.
I think you could have said you would love to join her, but were afraid to because you found her very attractive and might have difficulty keeping yourself "neutral." She would probably have laughed, and understood thoroughly. I doubt she would have taken offense, or felt you breached nudist etiquette.
Regardless, you could have said sure and slipped on your trunks or shorts to get up and play. Many men find it uncomfortable, particularly in hot weather, to jump around naked and prefer some support. Women with large breasts often slip a top on for the same reason.
One last note: You indicated being there for solitary enjoyment. That probably means you weren't up on your elbows checking everyone out. That will be attractive to women tired of being gawked at. Score one for yourself there.
|Anise||My husband's primary interest in nudism is to have other men see me naked. I say "primary" because he also practices body freedom generally. My point is, he really gets hot when other men have a view of my naked body. Is this normal?|
|A lot of women say this. The male brain (the lizard-brain part, or limbic system) responds to the threat of infidelity by feeling the urge to spread his seed. He's enjoying the arousal generated by an ape-like instinct to be king-of-the-hill. So yes, I'd say it's normal. When it crosses over to obsession, say, where he insists you participate even when not in the mood, well, then he needs a reboot to reality. Fun is fun, but compulsive behavior is a bore.|
|Kim Johansen is a global sales representative for a pharmaceutical company who dropped out of medical school. She relies on feminine intuition, Taro cards and "a bit" of numerology, but not for this column. Here she's basically winging it.|
|Questions? Members receive responses to acceptable inquiries within twenty-four hours or less. If you have publishable commentary on nudism or the nudist life, we pay you for it. Contact Julie for details.|
|Copyright The Nude Review & Kim Johansen|